Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. You may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

[via]

7 thoughts on “Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP”

  1. I think they only write it. I’ve never heard anyone say it, and I think I’d be a bit worried if I heard someone try.

    I’ve seen another version of this floating round which looks a bit more authentic, as it’s in block capitals throughout.

  2. Did that person say “rotfull-mao” in conversation, as if it’s a phrase you can use without incurring ridicule, or were they reading something aloud of a screen (which would be less funny, but more understandable).

  3. In conversation, but not unreasonably in context. He responded to a slightly distasteful crack with “Rotfull-mao, as they say on the internet”, in the tone of voice in which you might say, “Ah, like a joke only not as funny”. It still took me a minute to work it out.

  4. “In conversation, but not unreasonably in context. He responded to a slightly distasteful crack with “Rotfull-mao, as they say on the internet”, in the tone of voice in which you might say, “Ah, like a joke only not as funny”. It still took me a minute to work it out.”

    You can take the sarcasm to a whole new level by actually enacting the “ROTFL” part.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *