FRC

In an idle moment, I’ve just installed the French Revolutionary Calendar on this page, since I like it so much. My friend Steve engineered it a few years ago for The Voice of the Turtle, and it’s still keeping excellent time over there.

The European Union wants us to switch over to the French Revolutionary Metric System — “The centuries old dream of the masses of only one just measure has come true! The Revolution has given the people the metre!”, etc. — but keep the old-fashioned Gregorian Calendar. I tend to think this gets things back to front, and the combination of the French Republican Calendar and old English imperial measures (restoring the 16oz pint, if need be, as long as bar prices come down in proportion) is far more satisfying.

Another good calendar is the Aztec Calendar, but while it has better glyphs and a good webite, it isn’t so inspiring for anti-monarchists everywhere.

And, thinking of Aztecs, the wonderful exhibition at the Royal Academy of Arts in London is only on for a few more days — it closes 11 April — so if you haven’t been yet, do make the trip. It’s really very good indeed.

Fields of Athenry

By a lonely prison wall I heard a young girl calling:
“Michael, they have taken you away.
For you stole Trevelyan’s corn, so the young might see the morn;
Now the prison ship lies waiting in the bay.”

CHORUS: Low lie the fields of Athenry,
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing,
We had dreams and songs to sing,
It’s so lonely round the fields of Athenry.

By a lonely prison wall I hard a young man calling:
“Nothing matters, Mary, when you’re free.
“Gainst the famine and the crown I rebelled, they cut me down.
Now you must raise our child with dignity”.

By a lonely harbour wall she watched the last star falling,
As the prison ship sailed out against the sky.
Sure, she’ll live and hope and pray for her love in Botany Bay…
It’s so lonely ’round the fields of Athenry…

Hmm. 42-6 at Lansdowne Road in the Grand Slam match. Time to start paying attention to something else instead.

Hooray!

The Nigerian email scam has now found itself in an Iraqi incarnation…

At 1:17 PM -0500 3/29/03, Farouk Al-Bashar wrote:
Re: Urgent Assistance Needed

By way of introduction I am Eng. Farouk Al-Bashar, I represent my family as the oldest son of the Al-Bashar family, who are the descendants of Ibrahim Al-Bashar Ali from one of the oil rich areas in Iraq. Over the years my family has acquired huge sums of money from royalties for the exploration of oil in our region but over the past 15 years, Saddam Hussein and his gangs of bandits have taken our oils without payments and we can not complain as those who did are all dead. In the wake of the Gulf War of 1990, our family withdrew most moneys that remain in coded bank accounts that Saddam did not find and we hide it in a secret chamber underground, where it remained safe until after the war. At the end of Gulf war, we moved the funds into a private vault of a security company in Baghdad, where it was until we collected it a few days ago on the fear of the eminent war with America…

The eminent war with America is pretty fearful. Excellent, though, that current affairs have caught up with the 419 scam, although this isn’t as inspired as the Afghanistan version of this particular fraud which presented the plight of a group of British servicemen whose code of “military ethics” forbade them from exporting suitcases full of cash they had seized, and perhaps you could help…

Preflight Check

This predates the war (I first saw it on 9 March) and has been reprinted in many other places, but it still makes me laugh and it’s worth throwing into recirculation here, just in case it finds any new and appreciative readers…

VIETNAM 2 PREFLIGHT CHECK

1. Cabal of oldsters who won’t listen to outside advice? Check.
2. No understanding of ethnicities of the many locals? Check.
3. Imposing country boundaries drawn in Europe, not by the locals? Check.
4. Unshakeable faith in our superior technology? Check.
5. France secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
6. Russia secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
7. China secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
8. SecDef pushing a conflict the JCS never wanted? Check.
9. Fear we’ll look bad if we back down now? Check.
10. Corrupt Texan in the WH? Check.
11. Land war in Asia? Check.
12. Right unhappy with outcome of previous war? Check.
13. Enemy easily moves in/out of neighboring countries? Check.
14. Soldiers about to be dosed with *our own* chemicals? Check.
15. Friendly fire problem ignored instead of solved? Check.
16. Anti-Americanism up sharply in Europe? Check.
17. B-52 bombers? Check.
18. Helicopters that clog up on the local dust? Check.
19. In-fighting among the branches of the military? Check.
20. Locals that cheer us by day, hate us by night? Check.
21. Local experts ignored? Check.
22. Local politicians ignored? Check.
23. Locals used to conflicts lasting longer than the USA has been a country? Check.
24. Against advice, Prez won’t raise taxes to pay for war? Check.
25. Blue water navy ships operating in brown water? Check.
26. Use of nukes hinted at if things don’t go our way? Check.
27. Unpopular war? Check.

VIETNAM 2 YOU ARE CLEARED TO TAXI

I think France has moved beyond “secretly” hoping that the US will screw up in a big way, and Russia too, but in general this analysis — unlike so many others — has survived the first week of the invasion.

From mustard to mustard gas

Naunihal emails to remind me about a 1991 article from the Guardian by David Omissi – then a research fellow at Nuffield College, Oxford, now senior lecturer in imperial history at the University of Hull – which describes the British Government’s use of poison gas on the peoples of what is now Iraq in the interwar period. It describes how Sir Aylmer Haldane used gas shells on Arabs in central Iraq in 1920 during a campaign which killed 9,000, and how, over a decade later, Winston Churchill himself sought to drop mustard gas bombs on Kurdish populations in the north-east despite warnings of the damage these would do to noncombatants. “In the event”, the article notes, “the air force did not use gas bombs – for technical rather than humanitarian reasons”.

The Only Thing French about French’s Mustard is the Name

Press Release of the Day: from French’s Mustard:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Recently there has been some confusion as to the origin of French’s mustard. For the record, French’s would like to say, there is nothing more American than French’s mustard.

Born in New York by the R. T. French company, French’s Cream Salad Mustard made its debut in 1904 at the St. Louis World’s Fair along with its side kick, the hot dog. Both were an instant success! By 1915 the French’s pennant became the brand’s official logo, symbolizing French’s affiliation with baseball and American celebration.

Throughout the years consumers have professed their lifelong love of America’s number one mustard. “For many Americans, French’s mustard IS Americana. It’s all about baseball, hot dogs, family and fun,” says Elliot Penner, president of French’s mustard.

Did You Know?

* French’s mustard was first introduced, along with the hot dog, at the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904. Now more than 50 billion ounces of French’s is served.

* French’s “Classic Yellow” mustard has been a staple at the ballpark for almost a century.

* French’s mustard is the official mustard at Yankee Stadium.

* Americans love their mustard and last year consumed over 77 million bottles of French’s.

* French’s is America’s “Favorite Mustard” and is in more households than any other mustard.

* In 2002, the French’s bottle got a new shape with new dispensing technology and two new sizes.

* French’s is known for adding flavor and zest to all American favorites including hot dogs, hamburgers, sandwiches, chicken nuggets and pretzels.

* French’s mustard has a flavor to please all palates including Classic Yellow, Bold ‘n Spicy, Napa Valley style Dijon, Honey, and Sweet ‘n Zesty.

* The Seed Story: French’s uses only the highest quality mustard seeds. The milder white mustard seed is used for its Classic Yellow and honey mustard and the smaller, more assertive brown seeds for its Bold ‘n Spicy and Napa Valley style Dijon varieties.

New Jersey-based Reckitt Benckiser Inc., the maker of French’s mustard, is a leading North American manufacturer, marketer and distributor of household and food products. Some other well-known, trusted names in the Reckitt Benckiser family of products include French’s Original and Cheddar French Fried Onions, French’s Worcestershire sauce, French’s potato sticks, Frank’s “RedHot” Cayenne Pepper Sauce and new French’s GourMayo-flavored light mayonnaise.

!!!

Support the Troops!

Take the Iraq War Quiz!

1. The anti-war movement supports our troops by urging that they be brought home immediately so they neither kill nor get killed in a unjust war. How has the Bush administration shown its support for our troops?a. The Republican-controlled House Budget Committee voted to cut $25 billion in veterans benefits over the next 10 years.

b. The Bush administration proposed cutting $172 million from impact aid programs which provide school funding for children of military personnel.

c. The administration ordered the Dept. of Veterans Affairs to stop publicizing health benefits available to veterans.

d. All of the above.

And so on, for ten damning questions-and-well-documented-answers.