Enron
This is rather blissful, and comes from the satirewire:
ENRON CHAIRMAN QUITS TO JOIN E.N.R.O.N.,
ENERGY NATIONAL RESOURCE ORGANIZATION of NIGERIA
Asks For Your Confidential Assistances, Bank Accounts Numbers Lagos, Nigeria (SatireWire.com) � Saying he had finally found a venue worthy of his business model, Kenneth Lay resigned today as chairman of Enron to join the Energy National Resource Organization of Nigeria, which needs your confidential assistance in the transferring of offshore funds into a new company of Nigeria that will provide incredible profit on paper by the trading of energy contracts.According to an email sent to undisclosed recipients by Lay, who now identifies himself as a “close advisor” to the Nigerian National Petroleum Ministry, he is interested to do business with you because of credible reports that you will recognize this opportunity of great wealth. All that is required, the letter stated, is your banking accounts number and your purchase of stock of this energy trading company that has no traceable losses or shell companies or indictable irregularities of any kind.
Dr. Tunde Momoh, director of the Nigerian National Petroleum Ministry, which is coordinating the E.N.R.O.N. initiative, said the addition of Lay to his staff has given a boost to all Nigerian government ministries, which traditionally earned revenues by asking you to provide your bank account number so as to make possible the transfer of $US50 million from a soon-to-be-exposed Ministry fund. For your assistance, you would receive 20 percent of these moneys.
“We are thrilled to have now someone of Mr. Lay’s experiences,” said Momoh. “It is rare to find a non-Nigerian who is familiar with our methods and objectives, and his idea for the creating of the energy trading company E.N.R.O.N. is inspired.”
“When I am first hearing of it, I admit it has the sound of crazy,” Momah added, “but (Lay) is telling us that based on his experiences, this could work for years.”
Contacted at his confidential fax number, Lay said he was excited by the change, and predicted he would adapt easily to Nigerian methods. “It’s a new country and I’ve had to learn to muddle a bit my syntax, but the basic business approach is something we both have in common,” he said. “I only wish I had started here first.”
Lay added that, as he did at Enron, where he served as both chairman and chief executive officer, the new job will enable him to take part in several Nigerian businesses, including stints as Dr. Chukwuma Mbaduwa, an accountant in the Nigerian Transport Ministry, Abu Idomu, a top official of the federal government contract review panel, and the Lady Maryam Abacha, wife of late Gen. Sani Abacha, ex-military head of state of Nigeria, whose assets have been frozen except for $50 million she stuffed in a box labeled as photographic materials which she deposited in a security company where her brother-in-law works as general manager and she now needs your assistance in retrieving these moneys.
Click here to read the letter.
Many thanks to Nick for drawing this variation on a now-familiar theme to the attention of the weblog.