Spam
Nick recently sent me this variant on Martin Niemöller’s famous remark, which was, he tells me posted in a Usenet discussion of anti-Muslim sentiment in the USA:
When they come for the Muslims, I will speak up, even though I am not a Muslim.
When they come for the spammers, I will speak up and say: ‘Hey, you missed that one over there!’
On the whole, I’ve been relatively untroubled by electronic spam — though to write these words is to tempt fate. But then four copies of the same message arrived in my inbox earlier this afternoon, from someone who’d clearly been trawling The Voice of the Turtle for email addresses, and found several different ways of contacting me. What did he want to say?
This letter was borne out of my desire to establish a business/mutual relashionship with you.My name is Mr Smith Lunor,the son of chief michael Dada (the former deputy minister of finance under the ousted civilian government) who was killed and mutilated by the military junta led by Major Paul koroma,after overthrowing the elected of President Tijan kabba.Though I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events and disturbances in Sierra Leone,but the pressure of war drove my mother and me out of Sierra Leone into exile in Spain where we have been living under political asylum Sadly,my mother died of cancer three weeks ago and was burried in Spain.Prior to her death,she handed me over a certificate meant for a secret deposit which my father made in a Security Company in Spain,the deposit that worth US$14,500,000 (fourteen million five hundred United States dollars only),was money paid to his corporation by its overseas Company in the heat of the conflict.He made this saving on his name with the hope of converting it for his personal use at the end of the war;but was killed when the conflict intensified as a result of his opposition to the rebel forces. I have contacted the Security Company to confirm and the established ownership.Due to the return of peace in Sierra Leone and the subsequent death of my mother,I have decided to solicit for the participation of a honest and trustworthy person or Company that will assist in the transfer and business re-investment of the fund.I cannot do it alone due to my present social status and total ignorance of the business world.You will be given a nogotiable percentage at the end of the transaction. If you are interested in the above proposal,contact me immediately through this same e-mail address for more details.You must maintain absolute confidentiality to ensure success.Please indicate your personal tel/fax numbers when replying. Best regards, Mr Smith lunor.
A touching story, and one offering the tantalising prospect of personal enrichment (or at least a “nogotiable percentage”). But a moment with google.com confirms the suspicion that this is spam and scam alike, and one with a distinguished history, as a glance at the thirty-three variations on a theme documented at the Sierra Leone Web demonstrates.Peter Andersen of the Sierra Leone Web writes [25.11.2001]: One of these days I will have to add some of that have been circulated in the past few months. For some reason the last week has seen a lot of activity. Even I got one! I’ve also had more than my share of dishonest potential victims writing to me under false pretenses. Apart from the 419 formula which you recognized, this scam artist has managed both to mangle all the facts and to completely misspell the names of everyone he has referred to.
Nick writes [27.11.2001]: This looks like a modern variant on the more famous Nigerian 419 scam. For more info, see this page, where there is also a beautiful “letters gallery” of non-electronic correspondence examples, plus sundry links to related scams and resources. The quatloos site is a perfect place to pass idle afternoons musing on human gullibility… as is vmyths.com (also highly recommended).
Rob writes [6.12.2001]: This is merely a technologically updated version of the Spanish Prisoner scam. Mamet’s version is a bit more exciting, and stars his scrumptious wife, Rebecca Pidgeon.
Nick found this model response [9.1.2002]:
Dear DR. ONORIODE BOBOLO,
It is so good to hear from a fellow-countryman, having been raised and lived for many years in our most beautiful homeland, Nigeria. I want to send you my sincere thanks and gratitude for your kind offer of USD$25,000.000.00
(TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) for taking part in this funds transfer transaction.However, I am a businessman too, and I make my living transferring large sums of money from and to my friends, relatives, and business associates in Nigeria. Therefore, I know that you would agree, that in order to participate in this wonderful opportunity, I must have an advance monetary commitment from you — a good faith gesture on your part — in order to proceed.
Therefore, I ask that you deposit just 10% ($2,500,000) of the $25M into my PayPal account as an indication that you truly possess the funds and are actually authorized to release them. Using the online PayPal service is a
very convenient and secure way to transfer funds. All you need do is access the PayPal web site, open a PayPal account, deposit the funds into your new account, and then transfer the money into my existing account, which has already been set up to receive the $25M.You only need my email address, which you already have, to transfer the funds into my account. Therefore, the complete safety of your account, as well as mine, is guaranteed and insured unconditionally. You have asked that
this matter be handled with the strictest confidentiality, and I will agree to that condition, provided that the transfer takes place in a reasonable period of time, say by Friday, 5 October.If the money has not been received by that time, I must assume that you are not making a legitimate offer, and that you might be someone other than who you say you are — although I can tell by the exceptional language of your
email, that is probably not the case. However, if that is the case, then I will be forced to embark upon a most unpleasant course of action that I would prefer not to undertake.Because I have so many loyal friends in the Government of Nigeria and the Military, and many close ties within the Security Service where you work, it would be quite easy to locate your office and your home, as well as learn the identities of your friends and relatives.
I truly don’t believe that you would want to jeopardize their health and well-being, and your own future. I will access my PayPal account on next Saturday to verify that your good-faith payment has been made. Once that takes place, we can move forward with the final transfer.
I trust that you will not disappoint me in this matter, since the consequences for non-compliance could be quite severe. I look forward with great anticipation to working with you.
From slashdot.org.